The 15 Stages of Pregnancy Insomnia


The 15 Stages of Pregnancy Insomnia

1. Wake up needing the toilet. Hope you can go quickly then get back to sleep. Yeah, right, you’ll be lucky. 

2. Back in bed, realise the baby has woken up and is now wriggling. Or has hiccups. Try to ignore baby movement. Realise actually, it’s really uncomfortable. Turn onto your right side but feel guilty – you’re supposed to sleep on your left.

3. Hunt around for pillows. Perhaps you’re not comfy enough and the pillow between your knees trick will work. It doesn’t. Now you’re too hot as well.

4. Check your phone for the time. Realise you’ve only been asleep 4 hours. And you’ve got to get up in another 3. And you’re just so tired. And you have to work tomorrow. Oh no. Now you’re thinking about work.

6. Spend half an hour checking Facebook, Twitter etc. feel annoyed at yourself.

7. Husband gets up and moves to the spare room. Why is he not the one who is pregnant and unable to sleep?

8. Start thinking about the birth. Should I write a birth plan? What if I go into labour early? Worry incessantly that you’re going to have a 10lb+ baby and a terrible delivery.

9. Consider doing pregnancy hypnosis CD. Realise CD is in spare room.

10. Get up and have a piece of toast. Read for a bit.

11. Check time again. You have to be up in an hour.

12. Go back to bed. Finally drift off to sleep.

13. Wake up to the sound of your toddler shouting, “Mummy! I need a wee wee.”

14. Wish you could drink serious amounts of coffee.

15. Go to work. Try to smile at people who comment that you’re looking tired and huge. Yeah, thanks.

Only… 6 more weeks to go?!!

By Naomi

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